Friday, September 5, 2014

Back in Business

Hello lovelies,

These past two days I have been trying to organize myself and preparing for the new semester. I have to speed up my work and get results. I have to really concentrate on getting my degree now. Getting degree is the most important thing to me, yet keeping sane is also a priority. 

I just got the word that I have been rejected from another audition and we'll it was to be expected really. I was really timid and was it's looking for the high. I do how ever like the high of going to these auditions. Maybe, just maybe I would get better at it someday. Like I said in my last post, someday I do wish to be on stage (or in front of the lens). Anything would do. I just like the attention. Well not that I don't get enough of them, but I just like them.

Yesterday a friend asked me if I was given a chance to join any cast of a tv show for a couple of episodes up to a season which would I choose and why? I thought of it a lot. In fact I was really indecisive really. 

I do have a few series and dramas (as they are called here in Japan) and most of them are interesting in my opinion. I mean seriously, there are so many to choose from and most of them are good at the worst. 

Well I finally came down to two very different series. Once Upon a Time and Criminal Minds. Yes I rave about these two shows a lot in my other social network and no it has not connection to Colin O'Donoghue or Matthew Gray Gubler. Well I did get into the series because of them but not purely, we'll Captain Hook started in mid season 2 if I am not mistaken and Dr. Spencer Reid is hella annoying in my opinion, though he is an interesting character. 

But I like to be in this two series is because of two very different reasons. 

Once upon a time is more of a fantasy meet reality series and a family drama. Not only I would be able to wear the classical/fairytale clothes and the normal clothes (which I must say the designer have awesome taste and great eye for what would flatter each figure the most) but I would also be able to challenge myself to act in two very different character.

As for Criminal Minds, we'll the dynamic of the show and of the cast really show on screen. Each of the cast really embodies the character and made it really realistic. Okay I would have to admit that there are crappy part of this series especially the scientific discovery and certain unlawful physics that were shown, but he'll it is an act. But Criminal Minds has a great assemble and I would love to just join them even for one hour just for an interview or something. Especially Thomas Gibson, Joe Mantegna and Matthew of course, but if they can throw Moore and Vangsness in my way I would love to even just meet them. I mean Vangsness is an idol. She is super comfortable in her own skin and that is very rare. I would love to learn from her of how can I just be happy in my own skin no matter how I look like and no matter what other people think of you. 

Besides Matthew, I would love to ask these people about how do they cope with rejection over and over again. Audition after audition, years after years of trying. I just think it would be interesting to hear what and how do they get to where they are today. Not the commercialized story version of it, the real version of it. 

Anyways, I guess I have to go back to my little babies and work on getting in line back again. 

以上
ieja.

P/s: I have no idea the point of the picture below, it's just something I look at every single day.


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Update

Hello my lovelies,

So~~~
It has been quite sometimes since I last post anything on my blog under my own name. I mean posting on my blog as myself. I tried to be consistent, but being consistent while handling multiple things at once apparently is easier said than done. We'll at least it is to me. I know there are people out there that can manage multiple accounts and multiple life at once. I am sorry, I cannot.

So we'll, as some of you might know I have finished my Masters and now pursuing another higher level education and feeling very useless at it, but hey, learning is fun.it is also fun being the older person that people come to for problem solving or even advice. It just makes me feel a little grown up.

Talking about growing up, there are still part of me that still want to pursue the entertainment (mainly the stage) industry, and because I am pain stakingly shy for no reason and effin awkward most of the time I am still struggling to interact with the general public. However I have become a little fonder of the mic and public speaking. I try to go to as much audition as they will take me, in turn wishing that I would be given the chance to go on stage one day. 

I have stopped and began writing again. I feel that my grasp of the English language is lessening and that is mainly because of the mix language that I am using in my daily life. Even more so than when I was living in Malaysia. Being able to write with a very talented and supportive group of people is really really superb. It not only writing, but it also doubles as my monthly therapy as well. 

One thing about the group that I really really love is the diversity and the mix level of people. Not all of us are writers and not all of us ware native speakers, but we work well together. So we'll that I fell safe sharing my deepest darkest thoughts. And I trust to go for a beach retreat and I'm not as afraid of dogs as I used to be. I still don't like them coming to me, but that is because I hate it when they lick my things and lick me, but as ling as it is not anywhere near me or the vicinity of my things, I'm good. 

Talking about writing as a therapy, I had another meltdown recently and I am not yet comfortable to reveal the reason here, but I will in time, after the meltdown, I went to a therapist (head doctor do shrink as you might call them),I went to a few of them to get different views really and it helped a lot. One of them did suggest that I keep a daily journal and what not. We'll keeping the journal, or it's wiring in general calms me down. It also tiers me so much that I am able to go to bed without the help of a pill. 

Then, just before the meltdown I made a YouTube channel that someday I might just share on this blog. I guess I did actually. Well it has been a while since I last posted and maybe I will do it again soon. 

I don't really know what else to update around here, so I guess, this is it. 
I will try to write again later.

それで、じゃーね
~iejaでした~

Friday, March 1, 2013

"What I Want Is What I've Got"


All that I want in my life,
is the feeling of peace,
deep within me truly,

I took a chance,
I let go,
I promised myself,
that it wouldn't scare me,
Miracles appear i know,
Now i can see it show,
Cause i,

Found out what i dreamt of,
and i looked it up,
At this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,
Found out what was missing,
and i looked it up, 
And at this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,

Life is too short to hold back,
I won't live in the past,
being lonely now i know,
This is the time of my life,
Yes i'm sure, 
what i want is what i've got,

Miracles appear i know,
(miracles appear i know)
Now i can see it show,
Cause i,

Found out what i dreamt of,
and i looked it up,
At this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,
Found out what was missing,
and i looked it up, 
And at this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,

Now i've found out, 
what i've been dreaming of,
It's the feeling of peace deep within me,
Cause life is too short to hold back,
I made up my mind, 
I just,

Found out what i dreamt of,
and I looked it up,
At this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,
Found out what was missing,
and i looked it up,
And at this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,

What i want now,
is when i got a chance, 
What i want now,
what i want is what i've got,
(what i want is what i've got),
What i want now,
is when i got a chance,
(when i've got a chance)
What i want now, 
what i've want is what i've got,

Found out what i dreamt of,
and I looked it up,
At this very moment,
what i want is what i've got,
Found out what was missing,
and i looked it up,
And at this very moment,
what i want is what i've got......

I was just listening to some old songs to take a break from the J/K-pop/rock thingy that has been playing on the radio and tele(more like phone tiny tele) here. I was listening to Westlife's first album if I'm not mistaken. And came across this song.

I used to listen to this song just as that. A song. Somehow the phrase "what i want is what i've got" is playing over and over and something struck me. This song is about me. Well it maybe about so many millions of people, but seriously. All I have ever wanted in my life is all right here. What i want is what i've got. I just need to polish it a little bit more...

looking at life this way makes me feel so lucky to be living my life as it is. I am very lucky to be where I am at now. It might not be perfect or near that but it is what I worked for...

Love,
XOXO,
Ieja


Monday, October 29, 2012

Prayers for New Yorkers


Superstorm Sandy looks really bad from what I see on the net and heard from the news. I hope that everyone is safe and well. My prayers will always be with you. Stay safe and stay strong all.

Love, XOXO

Ieja

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A little thing called an Update

Hisashiburi 「Haven't meet you all in a while」~~~
I hate to say this but I think I'm liking this place better than I used to like all my schools.
I don't fit in (when do I ever does?) and I don't care about that either now... I mean whoever does?
This post might be called in a bit late but the reason for this post is really to write down my vision (more like what I aim to accomplish by the end of June really) for this year. A new year resolution? Maybe. But I kind of made a pact with myself not to make anymore resolution because I never accomplish them. If I do it take more time than I have ever expected.

This year's vision:
- I want to work harder (Because if I do, I feel the little break I take in between means much more to me then)
- I want to be just like or even better than my Japanese friends (they are smart and they work harder to become better)
- I will not limit myself to what I know and will search for things myself.
- I will improve my language and also people skill somehow.
- I want to be independent and do not want to rely on people as much.
- I will be happier with more work load I have.
- I will fall in love with my work so it will never be a burden for me.

It all seem like it is related to work right? It is. I want to do this for myself now rather than wanting to prove to people that I can be anything that I say. If that's what I want, I am already what I visioned to be, I need to be better... I need to be able to satisfy my own self with what I do. Am I content with what I do? Yes. but barely, I feel like there is so much more that I can do. I feel like I need to compare with my peers here. They are very independent and very smart worker.

Let see. maybe I can achieve this soon or maybe it'll just be a dream... Who knows. Anyways...

That's all from me for now.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Back from a Thing Called Fitting in

It's the worst part
but I'm happy that I'm here
now...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A New Flail

Okay he's not really a new flail, but he is considered one of the new one, His name is Watanabe Reiya, part of Kyo-Otoko and was A part of DASH~! and RAVE.

He's cute and bitesize... the best thing is He's LEGAL